Flirting Taiwanese Style

For us in the west, flirting is how things get started when you meet someone that you like. It’s really important to let the person know that you like them, and you expect to get messages back that they like you. Since Taiwan is an entirely different culture, and since Taiwanese women do not change much even when they’ve lived abroad for years, flirting with Taiwanese women can be tough for guys who don’t know how it’s done.

There are a few cultural facts about Taiwan that you’re going to have to learn if you want to successfully flirt with a Taiwanese woman.

Go Indirect And Nonverbal
First of all, Taiwanese people are notorious for being indirect in their communication. Although it may seem this way sometimes, they don’t communicate this way just to frustrate westerners. In Taiwan, being vague and indirect is a virtue. When people speak to each other, they expect the other person to “pick up” on things and understand how they’re feeling intuitively.

A major step in flirting for westerners is to make your bold move and move it to a sexual level. More often than not, when you tell a Taiwanese girl directly that you like her and you’d like to be romantic with her, it is going to terrify her and she is not going to react well. Instead, things should move to the next level more slowly. You should rely on non-verbal clues and signals. Be subtle about it.

Relax And Take It Easy
Like all women, Taiwanese women like guys who are confident, relaxed and fun. However, if you’re aggressive, it’s going to scare her away. In the west, we say that it takes some aggressiveness to get the girl, but this is not the way in Taiwan. Coming on too strong will definitely scare her away.

For men who don’t know Taiwanese culture, this is very tricky. How do you know when it’s time to make a move if she doesn’t let you know? When flirting with a Taiwanese woman, keep it fun, playful and non-threatening for a little bit longer. She’ll let you know when it’s okay to make a move, but you’ll have to pay close attention.

The Third Party System
Sometimes, major advances in a relationship come through a third party, like a friend or mutual acquaintance. This is really strange for westerners, but it’s common practice for Taiwanese people.

The first time I met a woman who I ended up having a long, fulfilling relationship with, our mutual friend invited us to a party at her house and basically announced to us that she was hooking us up. I thought this was strange considering how shy and indirect Taiwanese people are supposed to be. This friend played matchmaker for us until we got to know each other a little better.

If you’re interested in a Taiwanese woman, get to know her friends too. She might use her friends to communicate something difficult to you that she can’t say herself.

Flirting with Taiwanese women is a little bit different, but with some experience and knowledge of Taiwanese culture, it becomes much easier. It’s all about taking it slower, and learning to pick up on the nonverbal signals that she gives to you.

You Don’t Have To Turn Taiwanese To Build Relationships with Taiwanese Women

There is nothing more laughable than seeing western guys try to act Taiwanese to get Taiwanese women. They think that their interest in anime or manga, or the fact that they like sushi, is going to get the girl. What they don’t know, is that by doing that they’re much more likely to look foolish, and that they’re breaking rule number one for meeting women – be yourself.

If you’re into Taiwanese pop culture, that’s fine. But if you are too into Taiwanese things, she’s probably going to think you’re not genuine. She’ll think you’re either a strange guy, a guy with a “thing” for Taiwanese women, or a total nerd. In Taiwanese, the word, “otaku.” describes a person that is so into comics, video games and anime that they sacrifice their total personality. In the west, we might call him a computer nerd or some other type of ‘freak’ or ‘nut’.

If you’re interest in Taiwan makes you look like an otaku, any Taiwanese woman that you meet will run the other way. This is true also if you try to “act Taiwanese” In Taiwan, lots of western guys work really hard to fit into a country that will never really accept them; while Taiwanese people are often impressed that you can speak the language or that you know your way around the culture a little, it really doesn’t do any good to try and go totally native. From a professional point of view, most good business opportunities for westerners in Taiwan involve using your unique skills and experience as a foreigner.

On the other hand, having a normal, healthy interest in her culture will help you. While Taiwanese women generally avoid nerdy western men who are too obsessed with Taiwan, they like guys who are open-minded and interested in them (which includes their culture).

For a Taiwanese woman who lives overseas, there is a good chance that she’s there for a reason. She probably likes the culture, the way westerners communicate, the difference in the way things are done, and so on. A western guy who is working hard to show her his Taiwanese side is going to be pretty uninteresting.

Here’s an example: Imagine that you are American, and you went to Taiwan on business. You go out and meet an interesting girl. As you start talking, she starts suddenly making every topic about America and seems to have some compulsion about turning every conversation that way. Then, for your second time you meet she wants to go to a burger place that’s a corny America-themed restaurant, and she brings along an American flag. Can you see how annoying this would be? If you’re too much of a Taiwan-freak, it’s going to seem like this to her, or maybe worse.

Overcoming The Shyness Of Taiwanese Women

One of the main characteristics of Taiwanese women that sets them apart from western women is that they’re extremely shy. This is something you’ll need to deal with if you want to meet and have a relationship with Taiwanese women. Because of this, you have to be a bit proactive, but if you’re too aggressive you’ll scare her away.

In Taiwanese culture, people are really concerned about saving face. They’re also afraid of failure. Whereas in the west we tend to focus on success and how to achieve it, Taiwanese people focus on failure and all the things that could possibly go wrong. Not only is failure an issue, but everybody seeing you fail as well.

Even if a Taiwanese girl really likes you, she probably isn’t going to show it. Taiwanese people are shy, but Taiwanese women are especially shy. They’re conditioned to let the man do the driving. This goes for dating as well as what goes on in the bedroom. This is why you have to be proactive.

However, being overly aggressive will definitely drive her away, and this happens often. This presents a little challenge. You can’t be quite as assertive as you are with western women.

So, how do you go about talking to a Taiwanese woman? First of all, try to talk to a Taiwanese woman in the most natural way possible. In other words, try not to look like you’re picking her up. Make it an ordinary conversation type about something she has knowledge of or interest in so that it doesn’t seem like a ‘pick up’.

During the initial stages of talking to her, give her an out. Don’t be flirtatious, because that’s a turn-off. Always leave it open so that she can back out if she wants to. It’s really hard for Taiwanese women to say “no,” so don’t put her in a situation where she has to. If she feels like you’ve trapped her and you’re trying too hard, you won’t see her a second time.

The whole thing about not saying “no” is another Taiwanese cultural trait. Taiwanese women will often give out their phone number or email address, and then not answer when you call. This is because, unlike western women, they find it tough to say “no” when a guy asks. Keep this in mind and let her have a way out if she’s not interested.

You also have to pay close attention to non-verbal signs with Taiwanese women. On top of being shy, they won’t usually say things outright. Instead, they’ll give you subtle hints telling you to go ahead. You’ve got to really sharpen your skills at picking up non-verbal clues from women.

Taiwanese women get over this shyness once you get to know them. It’s just tough initially to start a conversation and open up a possible relationship. Once you’ve started seeing each other, this shyness will disappear.